Deborah Dettman

I worked in 4 treatment centers over 28 years. I see a huge interplay between issues related to addiction and trauma. I believe that for some women their path to addiction came as a means to self-medicate pain. I also believe that there is a strong physiological component to addiction and it doesn't reflect weakness of will. I support 12-step recovery but also alternative groups such as SMART, Refuge Recovery and Recovery Dharma, which have a Buddhist meditation component.

Everything I see I view through the lens of being a lesbian woman in a changing but still extremely sexist society. It impacts the dynamics of everyone's lives. I see empowering women as my purpose for this practice as well as my soul's mission for being here at this time on the planet. Feminist therapy for me has always been about fighting all the "isms" we face. It won't do to be progressive about women but not recognize race, class, gender identity, disability or immigration status.

I choose to approach trauma work through present-focused coping skills training. I believe that for therapy to be effective the client must be the one to decide if and when details about trauma get shared. If someone wants to name the events which happened I am open to this but I will never force anyone to dig deep into the past. There is evidence that forcing this can create a high risk situation for relapse or self-harm. I believe that some of the best results come from group work.

I've been an out lesbian since 1986. I provide support for any woman who is questioning her sexuality, whether she comes out as lesbian, bisexual or she is actually just an average heterosexual who has had same sex attraction. I also provide safe support for those who have de-transitioned or desisted. The way the mainstream LGBTQ community centers or a vast majority of therapists have ostracized or abandoned people with regret is an incredible shame. You will be safe here.

I believe that without recovery from substances that therapy will always be extremely limited. Therapy is a place on the journey to deciding what one wants to do for recovery. I advocate the use of self-help programs. I have known people who quit alcohol and drugs just from church and many, many more from 12-step programs. I have worked with people who have found great assistance through recovery groups like Refuge Recovery, which is Buddhist philosophy/meditation based.

I come to anxiety work with an understanding that the way people reduce anxiety is by facing fears and trudging through. I know this process may happen very quickly but often takes time. I am a big fan of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and love to use the materials Dr. David Burns has provided. (Author of Feeling Good and more recently Feeling Great.) Having specific CBT techniques available can be helpful and sometimes you may just want to be heard and your anxiety may dissipate just from sharing.

Therapy can really help us sort through feelings about our relationships and decisions we might need to make for our own self-care and for the good of our relationships. I can help you process your feelings and decide what practical things you can do in order to show up the way you want to in your relationships and make good decisions for everyone involved. Finding ways to improve boundary- setting and communication are just a couple examples of what we would be working on together.

A client-centered approach was integral to my early training as a counselor for women in the battered women's shelter and rape crisis programs I worked in at the beginning of my career. This approach involves unconditional positive regard for the client and active listening. All of this came quite natural to me. This can be a very warm and compassionate approach. It is far from the only tool in my tool box, but it is fundamental.

I want to be clear that I do not force anyone to do CBT. It can be incredibly helpful for reducing anxiety. For clients who want homework and more structure to sessions I may work with them on exercises from David Burns Feeling Great book.

Having worked with people since 1990 it is almost unavoidable that my approach is eclectic. I have learned so many things over the years and the initial things I learned have been adapted dozens of times. I have had training in the newer trendy things that are variations on the old themes. Attachment theory goes back to the 1940s and 1950s. The internal family system approach comes from work started in the 1980s based on family systems theory that was from the 1940s and 1950s as well.

My approach to trauma therapy is present-focused. Clients are free to share details of past traumatic experiences but I will not be forcing any of this. You are in charge. My hope is that we can figure out how to improve functioning in your day to day life. Learning what your triggers are, creating strong grounding skills and finding safe places and resources and supports is a major part of this work. And finding meaning in your life and what your survival means is a major part of our work.