Nonviolent Communication

Most of us have been taught to communicate passively, critically, or manipulatively––and that’s so normal to us that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. That is, until we find ourselves feeling powerless to get our needs met, repeating the same conflicts with those we love, and feeling alone or trapped in our relationships. The nonviolent framework provides a systematic approach by teaching us to be present to our own needs, feelings, and requests without blaming others or internalizing shame.

I have found nonviolent communication to be extremely helpful in clearer and more accurate expression. Additionally, the use of nonviolent communication bypasses many of the standard miscommunications and perceived offenses of standard conversation, facilitating information flow without argument. Interestingly, the use of nonviolent communication may also make the speaker appear more charismatic and persuasive.

Therapy is all about relationships and communication: relationships with ourselves, with our partners, attachment figures, with our communities, with our environments. And communication is the primary way we interact with all of those entities. Nonviolent communication is a specific and mindful way of speaking that requires emotional identification and vocabulary, self regulation, attunement, and trust. Ultimately, it's a method of communication that will improve all of your relationships.

Do you want to resolve conflicts - with yourself and others - in ways that honor your deepest needs? Do you want solutions that work for you and also meet the needs of others? Nonviolent Communication is about how to make that happen. It's about creating the kind of relationship that helps to meet, or at least honor, everyone's needs. It doesn't always get us what we want, but it greatly increases the chances of truly satisfying our underlying needs.

How are we sharing our needs and wants with others, and are we taking ownership of ourselves as we do so?

Specific training in this area.

Nonviolent Communication (aka NVC or Compassionate Communication) is a unique and powerful process for inspiring connection and action with others. Communication is the backbone of human relationships, even the relationship with ourselves. As a therapist trained in NVC, I help my clients learn compassionate, clear, communication skills that can contribute to their well-being, empowerment, and connection in every area of their lives.

I was trained in NVC and have used it with clients since 2009.

Understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy communication coupled with an understanding of domestic violence influences my expertise in this area. I've worked with clients individually as well as in a group setting to teach skills pertaining to good vs bad communication, conflict resolution, communication styles, boundaries and a host of other topics that influence the exchange of communication.

Nonviolent Communication is the reason I became a therapist and the foundation of my work. I have completed several intensive trainings in NVC both in-person and online.

I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) about 17 years ago and have been drawing upon the practice ever since. NVC is a way of viewing one's self, one another and the world. At the center of NVC is empathy--truly listening with an open heart to ourselves and to those we want to connect with. I am inspired by NVC's stance that humans share common needs. In my work, I listen for those needs; to be understood, to have choice, or be considered to name a few.

Non-violent communication provides a helpful framework for understanding the interplay of feelings and needs, and for improving communication around those needs.